Match Report: Crondorra (Andorra Assimilated)

Ivan Klasnić gives good thigh. Also scores good goals.

Hopefully this is the last time I have to tag Andorra. I mean, it's nice to have an opponent in the group that you know for sure you're going to beat, but I never liked those guys, they're too keen. Of the aggressive kind. Everyone goes on how Andorra are the weakest team in Europe, because they're the last amateur NT as far as I know. But what they lack in technical aspect they compensate in fouls and provocations. In comparison, from what I've seen of Kazakhstan, they're twice more desirable opponent, they neither play well or try as much.

The match was rather boring, not helped by the frantic camera that reminded me much of the one at Fratton Park, the one that's level with players. Great for hottyspotting, but terrible for keeping up with football as you can't link the moves. And football is the most important when NT are playing.

The little bit of excitement sadly came from a few imbeciles who thought it was a great idea to throw flares to the pitch. Križanac almost got hit. They weren't even at the terraces, but at the top of this rock that's above the pitch. I don't think I need to point out they were our "supporters". Poor Andorrans must've seen the flares for the first time as they were baffled, so Stipe the goalie had to take care of it and throw them out.



I was a bit gutted to see Slaven having to plead with them to stop as the ref was threatening to cancel the match. Although I thought he should've sent a few of his assistants up there to kick some butt.

Meanwhile, England beat Ukraine 2-1, which suit us great as now we're in a good position to win that second place and qualify for the barrage. We just need to win the match in June, which is the most important match for us this year, and beat Belarus and we should be spot on.

The match, well it best be forgotten, but there were some positives after all:

• Three points!
• NT time!
• Clean shaven Niko, yummers!
  

And if I had to rate them, it would go like this:

Stipe - can't rate him as he had nothing to do, but I suppose I could give him a six for looking cute and that time he yelled at that Andorran player who ran into him on purpose.

Charlie - 5.5 I don't like him much at the moment, he was barely there. Didn't lose the ball or make mistakes, but his crosses were pretty bad and he kept trying his stupid little dribbles that lead to nothing. A little more respect Charlie, is all I'm asking.

Križanac / Vejić - 6 Our centerbacks did OK seeing that they had little to do.

Čale - 5 Did alright as a substitute in Romania, but with each match he's exposing himself as not up to the NT standard. Couldn't link up with Rakitić well, kept losing the ball and was probably the weakest link. Any remotely more serious opponent and we could've been in trouble. It's hard to believe he was once first pick over Charlie. Bring back Pranjić!

Srna - 6 Well he tried. He ran. And put in some crosses. And looked angry enough arguing with the flare throwing guys. I think the armband's doing him good, mentality wise.

Jurić - 5 Not impressed with this guy. He was a waste of space in my opinion, and I can't figure out how come he gets the pick over Vukojević or even Pokrivač. Granted it's only his second match but I don't think it'll work out.

Niko - 6.5 He was playing a central role but sitting quite deep - reminding me much of Xabi. He was quite good at it, except the whole midfield couldn't really string them passes together in such a packed area. He was giving directions to the centerbacks as well, and actually put in a couple of dedicated tackles. I like this new side of him. He ran quite a lot as well!

Rakitić - 6 Off color, but I'd cut him some slack because, well it just didn't seem to be working. Also, it wasn't his fault that he had a back up in Čale.

Klasnić - 7 A goal and an assist, and a lovely goal it was. I'm always chuffed for him in particular, for everything he's been through.

Eduardo - 6 Scored so yay, but it could've been ruled out for dangerous play - there was no contact with the goalie, but his leg was high up and in his direction after all. Also, while pushing over that mouthy Andorran might've been hot, it got him in the books and it's the last thing we need before Ukraine.

Match Preview: Andorra vs Croatia

I'm so bored. The international week started last weekend and as much as I love NT gatherings, it's been so boring and uneventful this time. Sure there are some pics and cute clips from training, but as they have too much private time on their hands, and they are sinisterly, well, private about it, that doesn't leave me with much. How inconvenient.

Also, we could've easily played two matches within these ten days, a friendly and an official, like most other teams, so I don't understand how come our team took 10 days off to prepare for Andorra exclusively? Really? And now they're wasting time doing nothing. Playstation and fussball and Seinfeld re-runs. Yes, that's how they're spending most of their afternoons.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when they just hang about casually, and it's probably for the better that they aren't playing anyone else until Wednesday as so many of our first team players are injured (Olić, Petrić, Pranjić, Mandžukić are definitely out, Luka is doubtful and Slaven probably won't risk him, Charlie is being mended as we speak).

But surely Slaven didn't know that when they were arranging the match schedule. They gave up on a friendly in November as it was 'pointless', and they've wasted this term now as well. I don't understand.

Well anyway, this is most likely the team that will run out vs Andorra*:

* yes I stole this from another forum...

And this is where they'll be playing:


The capacity is about 1200, but far more important than that is the state of the pitch which is not fit for professional football. But as it happens, Andorrans refused our offer to play at Nou Camp instead, even though they did so with England - in other words, "who the f**k are you?" Ah well. They deserve a good stuffing anyway.

Some stats: We played Andorra in three qualifying rounds so far, and have a pretty good goal difference, 22-0. That's 4,4 goals per match - hopefully this means there'll be a goleada on Wednesday as well.

What to say about them? Hack'n'slash really. I noticed at the last match their #7 had some ball skills but all in all, it should be easy peasy. The only concern is none of the guys get hurt due to the bad pitch conditions.

Niko could learn a few things about tackling from my mother.

"F**k yeah, team of the week AND my manager likes me - suck on that Charlie!"

My Mum is funny. I guess it runs in the family. So funny things always happen to her.
She told me today about this funny moment from one of the times she was flying; I'm sure she told me about it before but since I have a tendency to switch off during my parents' ramblings (like you don't!), it was pretty new to me.

So for one of her trips she happened to borrow a suitcase from a friend... and as you may have guessed, she eventually forgot what it looked like. She's often as absent minded as I am, so it's no wonder. So she picked up a suitcase she thought it was hers from the baggage carousel and headed for the exit.

Now imagine one of those long moving walkways at airports. Halfway on it she looks down and realizes the bag she's carrying is not hers at all. Panic ensues and she turns around to, well, leave the line and go back. As she suddenly halts, she messes up the queue of people behind her who start colliding with each other.

And as she looks down the line, she realizes there's the Croatian national football team, tripping over each other.

My Mom is not much of a football fan and I don't think she could name more than two players from the NT to save her life, so it would be useless to ask her about the details. But the idea of Charlie or Niko or anyone else really from the team bumping into each other and falling over (because of my mother of all people) is more than I can take.

In other news, the lovable and utterly impressive Mario Ančić is set to hold a lecture on sports law – at none other than Harvard. Apparently Mario is a nerd with admirable work ethics. Unfortunately, in the last couple of years his career was intercepted with various long term injuries or illnesses - but obviously he's found a constructive way to deal with the long breaks, and graduated from law school at the tender age of 22.

Also, just because it is too good not to share; my lunch was so made of win today.